The desire to be noticed is not a healthy one. It speaks of an inner gulf. Of a sense of worthlessness.
Why would you want fuss and attention?
A martial artist has no craving for such nonsense. They just want to train. To get on with the practice.
One of the dangers with competition and exhibitions is that people have different values.
Although the Tai Chi Classics have clearly defined parameters, many exponents choose to disregard them.
When you set aside taoism and the fundamental precepts of tai chi, you distort the art to suit your own ends.
Competition forms are pretty external sequences, that may be aesthetically-pleasing but are internally bereft.
Partner work competitions rapidly degenerate into a brutal match of strength.
What motivates you? Are you wanting to be 'the next big thing'? Your face on a magazine cover? Why?
Can't you simply be?
Treat this as a koan and ask yourself what all your ambition is really about.
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